25% of women in the UK suffer miscarriage and pregnancy loss, yet it is often swept under the carpet and not spoken about.
For years miscarriage has been a “taboo” subject. You can’t talk about losing your baby because no one wants to listen. Yet those of us who have been through this devastating experience are left feeling numb, overwhelmed and in shock. Questions are constantly turning over in our minds…. Why did it happen? Did I do something to cause this? Will I ever get over it? Will I feel normal again? Not to mention feelings of guilt, jealousy, fear and anger. If these feelings aren’t tackled or treated you can spiral into depression, insomnia, unhealthy eating and alcohol habits and other self-destructive behaviour.
Our friends, families and partners try to console as best they can but after a while you see their eyes glaze over and you become uncomfortable, so you stop talking about it and soldier on. You don’t want to keep ‘banging on about it’ and boring them or causing them worry, so you behave as if every thing is ok. But it’s not.
I recently conducted a survey of women who’ve experienced a miscarriage. Out of the 150 responses I received only 5% of women had counselling or therapy to help them cope with their loss. That leaves a staggering 95% of women left with little professional support trying to figure it out on their own. Online support groups can make a real difference, but unfortunately hospitals don’t have the funding to provide meaningful support.
With Michelle’s late miscarriage in Coronation Street touchingly played by Kim Marsh, who herself lost a little boy in late pregnancy, this subject is finally getting aired and talked about. And it’s so important. For women who’ve been through miscarriage, it’s going to stir up emotions that may have been hidden for a very long time.
And if you’re one of them I want to say: you are not alone. I have created a secret Facebook Page for women like you who have been through a loss in pregnancy, to join together and support each other – and be heard. A place where you can talk about your loss to your heart’s content without fear of feeling you’re “banging on about it” incessantly. So if you’d like to join us you’d be most welcome.